An Inauspicious Beginning

Most of us have heard or used the expression "10 going on 20" or possibly "20 going on 10" to describe the gap between a person's physical age and their behavior.  Most of my life my mom has referred to me as "an old soul" and here's why:

At the ripe old age of 4, my blissful ignorance was brought to an abrupt halt.  Though I was a bossy little kid with a bit too much brain and no understanding of the real world, I lived a happy and selfindulged existence.  My father, one to always put the world into perspective with wisdom such as "just because" and "because I am the Dad," felt he needed to expose me to the realities of life before it was too late.  (That's right!  At four it was time I learned about the real world!  Though to be fair, it was probably in response to some smart-a@@ comment on my part.)  Well, my father did what any sensible dad would do,  he sat my four year old self down and explained to me that I had responsibilities. 

Even as an adult I can not say what "responsibilities" really are.  They seem to be self or society imposed obligations to do things we really don't want to.  Though I don't remember how this conversation went, I can well imagine it.  

A confused little girl with a deep furrow in her fore head:  "Why do I have them Daddy?"
A man regretting this decision at an increasing rate: "Because everyone has them."
Little Me:  "But where did they come from?"
Dad:  "The Universe."
Little Me:  "How do I make them go away?"
Dad: "You don't, they are with you forever."
Little Me: "But what are they?!"
Dad: "Responsibilities!  They just are!"
~ A dramatic, if realistic, interpretation of events I don't remember.

As you might well imagine, this didn't sit well with me.  The clearest part, in fact, was what happened immediately following this bizarre conversation.

A very confused little four year old me was wondering around my grandparent's house.  I came upon my Nona (my grandmother) and, in a state of great frustration declared, "Nona!  I have RESPONSIBILITIES and I don't know what they are or how I got them but I have them and they are important and I can NEVER GET RID OF THEM!"   

That was the day I discovered I had responsibilities and my Nono began saying, "That girl is 4 going on 40!"   Now in my 20s, my gap isn't shrinking!  My sister says I am a crotchety little old lady.  Odd, that even acting like I am 80, I only have 5 grey hairs and still get carded when I even look into a bar much less order a drink.  What does this mean?!  I am 80 at only 24!  Sigh...